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.. it happened yesterday ... and nobody told me anything ... it sucks ... sucks to hear about it on the news ... my dad ... on the news."Ruthie sat down and started crying. The scene was very strange indeed: it was Mike's father who was dead, and yet Ruthie was the one crying. He just stood, with his hands still in his pockets, staring off into space."I ... didn't think he'd do something like this. I never thought ... it'd end this way ... I mean ... he'd talk about what things were gonna be like after they moved out ... Mom talked about it..."There was a lot that Ruthie wanted to say in response, but all she could do was continue to cry. Maybe Mike had not known that Mr. Sinclair would end up shooting himself, but she did know. She knew, because she identified with Mr. Sinclair and understood his mindset. Her failure was not in clearly seeing what was about to happen, but in not expressing herself so that Mike could understand that there was no reason to be optimistic about anything. When she did pull away, there was only surprise on her face. She blushed again, and looked down at her lap. “I couldn’t stop myself, Jenny.” I said, quietly. “Wuh wuh why?” she said, and I could tell she was crying. I only hoped they were not tears of sadness. “I th-th-th-think you know why.” Ah, my stutter again. She looked up at hearing it, her eyes glisten- ing. I still could not tell what her tears meant. “Maybe,” she said. “I g-g-guess so.” I took her hand, and she did not pull away. When I stood, pulling her gently, she followed. We walked around the gym, to the horticulture projects, around the fences and inside. The fruit trees were blooming and the smell reminded me of her perfume, which she was wearing again. We finally reached the end of the rows, where a small bench was, and we sat facing each other. “Will you go out with me, Jenny?” I still held her hand in mine, and stroked the.
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